Navigating Food and Body Talk During the Holidays
Written by Allison Easton, RD
The holidays can be a special time of year and also very stressful.
We gather during this time of year to enjoy time together and catch up on each other’s lives. Not surprisingly, conversations often shift into comments/discussions about bodies and diets.
It is so valid to feel apprehensive about group or family gatherings and the diet and body talk that inevitably accompanies them.
Here are a few suggestions to help navigate the holidays to protect your joy and limit stress.
Anticipation and Preparation – plan to set boundaries
Is there a trusted family member who you could ask to talk to other family members who are likely to say something about dieting or bodies? This could be a discussion that gently explains how these topics can be very triggering for some family members or friends.
If it feels possible, envision how your event may unfold, and rehearse a few things to say if someone begins talking about their diet or exercise routine.
This strategy could look like:
Change the subject or excuse yourself to say hi to someone else
You can say ‘there is so much else I want to catch up on. Tell me about….”
Or if you are feeling safe in being direct, you could say “I actually have a hard time hearing about diets, because they have messed up my own relationship with food, and I am trying to heal’
You can respond with ‘I used to be really strict about what I ate, but it just made me more obsessed with food. Lately I’ve been trying to listen to my body and eat foods that I like and that feel good to me’
You can also excuse yourself from the conversation and go into another room and take a moment to breathe, vent to a friend over text, or listen to a few minutes of music. Giving yourself some space is helpful to prioritize and honour your needs.
Find a support person
Have a friend or support person on standby who you can vent to during holiday gatherings. Decide in advance to be there for each other to provide support.
Know your limits – permission for an exit strategy
If you find yourself really worried about being at a gathering or event where you don’t have a support system you can plan an exit strategy. Give yourself permission to leave by a certain time if you find yourself struggling.
Additional supportive things to consider:
You are allowed to enjoy the holiday food - there is nothing wrong with partaking in the fabulous food of the holiday season! Ensure that you eat consistently throughout the day to avoid becoming too hungry. When you feel ravenous, it leads to distraction, change in mood and heightened focus on food. This makes it hard to visit and catch up because all you want to do is eat.
Stay in touch with what you need. The holidays are about giving and can often mean giving too much of ourselves. It is okay to decline invitations if you are finding yourself anxious and/or exhausted. Budgeting your energy and capacity is an important component of self-care and may mean the difference in your holiday experience.
Give yourself space to process emotions and interactions that happen over the holidays. If you enjoy journaling, take a few minutes to write about your experiences and the feelings that came with them. Reach out to a supportive friend or family member to talk about how things are going. Schedule an additional appointment with your therapist or dietitian during this time to decompress.
Make sure to prioritize your needs so that you can enjoy the holidays too! Take a break if you find yourself getting overwhelmed with socializing. This year, give yourself permission to take some time out to care for yourself. What helps you restore? Some time alone? A nap? A quiet walk? A puzzle? Make sure to prioritize your needs so that you can enjoy the holidays too!
This holiday season, we encourage you to honour what you need and what feels accessible for you. We hope that by working toward a positive relationship with food and caring for yourself, you can make the holidays a time of genuine joy and connection. Feeling like more support? Check out our other holiday blogs, or upcoming support groups.
